Always infertile, yes or no?!?
I think this is different for different people, so feel free to comment your thoughts. Here are mine...
I still consider myself technically infertile and while people who can never get pregnant or carry a baby might disagree with me (and I can see why they would), here's why I say that.
First, the scars of what I've been through (as I cannot speak for my husband) will always remain, not that they hurt, as scars heal. However, they are a constant reminder of the road I've walked, the struggle to the finish line, the hurt along the way.
Second, I don't just get pregnant easily and actually wouldn't want to knowing I have an autoimmune disorder that could cause another miscarriage. These things along with the need for medical intervention to help ensure a healthy pregnancy make me continue to consider myself infertile.
A friend of mine who adopted commented tonight that she was having a hard day of struggling with being infertile in a fertile world. Some people believe that however you come to have a child is all that matters, and ultimately it is! I don't know a person who has adopted who would take that back just to "birth" their own child. Still, it is a loss and people should be able to mourn it as they need to.
It does make me sad that I'll never just "get knocked up" the old-fashioned way. I know it is hard for lots of people, not an all consuming, occupy your thoughts 24/7 kind of sadness, but one of those that can sneak up on you in the middle of a latte and take your breath away.
So if someone who can't just baby dance and have a baby needs a minute to hurt about that, give them the space to do so!
Just my thoughts for this Thursday night. :)
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