Awesome Opportunity for TNT--Please check it out!

So, if you've followed me long you know that I like to run.  Really, I love to run.  It's the only athletic thing I've ever done actually, so finishing multiple half marathons has been a HUGE accomplishment for me.

In April of 2009 I ran the Country Music half marathon (my second) with Team in Training (TNT) to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society.  I did it because some of my runner friends, who had encouraged me a lot, had just lost a friend to Leukemia after only a month.  I thought it was the least I could do.  It was AWESOME!!!!  If you like to fund-raise, run, and have a great time, you should totally do a race with TNT, the support and encouragement you get is unmatched and the money goes to help people who are affected by blood cancers, for research, monetary help, etc.  I personally loath fund-raising and so probably won't ever do that again (never say never).  Since then I just like to donate money to TNT for my friends running their races.

Anyhow, here's a cool opportunity to support TNT...

Virtual 5K for TNT

I'm all over this as the money goes to a great cause, it's not too much and gives a sense of unity without anyone having to travel!  I encourage anyone who likes to run to participate in this event, just go to the link, read about it and sign up--easy peasy!

Once Infertile...

Always infertile, yes or no?!?

I think this is different for different people, so feel free to comment your thoughts. Here are mine...

I still consider myself technically infertile and while people who can never get pregnant or carry a baby might disagree with me (and I can see why they would), here's why I say that.

First, the scars of what I've been through (as I cannot speak for my husband) will always remain, not that they hurt, as scars heal. However, they are a constant reminder of the road I've walked, the struggle to the finish line, the hurt along the way.

Second, I don't just get pregnant easily and actually wouldn't want to knowing I have an autoimmune disorder that could cause another miscarriage. These things along with the need for medical intervention to help ensure a healthy pregnancy make me continue to consider myself infertile.

A friend of mine who adopted commented tonight that she was having a hard day of struggling with being infertile in a fertile world. Some people believe that however you come to have a child is all that matters, and ultimately it is! I don't know a person who has adopted who would take that back just to "birth" their own child. Still, it is a loss and people should be able to mourn it as they need to.

It does make me sad that I'll never just "get knocked up" the old-fashioned way. I know it is hard for lots of people, not an all consuming, occupy your thoughts 24/7 kind of sadness, but one of those that can sneak up on you in the middle of a latte and take your breath away.

So if someone who can't just baby dance and have a baby needs a minute to hurt about that, give them the space to do so!

Just my thoughts for this Thursday night. :)

Is today Monday???

It really felt like it! However, a yummy dinner found on Pinterest (from a blog I will be following from now on www.canyoustayfordinner.com), then this laugh from my sister...

"I'm pretty sure that's the definition of hell: Cowboys fans, drive 30 MPH everywhere, and no drive through daiquiris"

Plus some smiles from my favorite little one, a great run, and all is right with the world!!

Happy Tuesday!!!!


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To be candid

I'm in a very good place in life, but that does not change where I've been. This is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. I embrace the recognition that is slowly growing for bereaved mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunt, & uncles who have lived this painful road.

It is also Br.east Cancer awareness month (especially according to the NFL, love them boys in pink)! Also, a special place in my heart as one of my precious, beautiful, courageous, strong pledge sister battled and BEAT breast cancer, she was diagnosed at 29. Don't think youth is on your side, check your boo.bies!!!

This has me in a very contemplative mood tonight. Lately the name Layla is everywhere. Today I found myself staring aimlessly at a yogurt container in the grocery store from a Layla Farms brand. My baby was tiny and didn't become a full "person" by many standards out there, but in my eyes she is and will always be my daughter. There are days I can't help but wonder what she would've been like, what Michael would've been like. Would they look like Cala? Would she be very vocal, him very serious? Would she be a wide-eyed 3.5 yr old? Would he be an adventurous almost 2 year old? I don't know and I never will. I don't cry about it hardly ever anymore, and while I do think things happen for a reason I cannot think my babies' deaths happened "for a reason". That sounds cliché and hollow when in reference to life, life within me. I know good things have come from my losses, as God works good out of all things if you allow Him to. Today I celebrated that as I received a very special gift from a friend who just had her rainbow baby 10 days ago. We knew each other outside of loss, but bonded over it. I celebrate that I am a different person in many good ways because my losses have made me more sensitive, more cautious in words and questions, and more supportive to people in pain.

This month is one of my favorites as it includes football, my anniversary, my sister's anniversary, both my FIL & SIL's birthdays, and the beginning of cooler weather. Still this month always sends me back, helps me focus, remember, and accept the grief that is never fully gone.

If you know someone who has lost a baby...

Don't be afraid to mention it.

Ask questions if you're interested.

Send them an uplifting message.

Keep them in your prayers.

Show support by helping this not be a taboo subject.

We can face it, tackle it, grieve it, and learn from it, just like we do cancer.

Every situation gives us an opportunity to grow. How will you grow??

Sending so much love to my BLM friends! Thank you for walking this road with me, supporting me, and sharing your stories with me. It is a great honor to be entrusted with your heartbreaks and I don't take it lightly!


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Race for the Cure

This race has always been one I enjoyed doing, but it's been nearer and dearer to my heart since my sweet friend, Maxine, was diagnosed with br.east cancer 3+ years ago at too young of an age!


Luckily, my sign says in Celebration of... Not in Honor of...! Yes, my tough as nails, funny as can be, beautiful friend will be 3 years cancer free soon! Can I get an amen?!?

That is partially made possible by people like my other friend, Julie, who is now the areas only fellowship trained bre.ast cancer surgeon. She and her partner sponsored the kids "fun run" at the Susan G. Komen race yesterday!


Obviously I want no one to need their services, but if you have a br.east issue or concern, you should definitely see them at B.reast Care Specialists of Shreveport. (Periods within a word keep them from coming up in an inappropriate search--just FYI, I recently learned that!)

So proud of Julie!!


And so happy to be out running again with her and my sister...


And to be accompanied by the Real Dr. Mook!

I remember

10 years ago today I was in grad school in Dallas. I'd been there less than a month and didn't love it. I was on my way to work and when I got there I heard the news. All I wanted was to go home and be with the ones I loved.

I remember feeling a serious sense of evil, like the air was just full of it. I was worried about people I knew who were in NYC, who flew planes, who had military families this would directly impact.

The worst attack on American soil. It was dark, ominous, gut-wrenching, and we should never forget! We should never forget why our men and women are fighting and dying.

Reflecting today brings pride at how our country came together, at the people who jumped to the aid of others, the firemen and policemen and women who ran to the aid of these tragic sites, some who lost their lives for it. Others lives were forever changed by the sights, the smells, the denseness of the air. It makes me grateful for those who serve our country still, friends, friends' husbands, the families I worked with whose children miss their parents for months on end while we remain safe in our beds. The soldiers who come home battled and scarred, and the ones who never come home. These are all true heroes and I'm grateful for their sacrifice.

I remember, I will never forget September 11, 2001!!!

God bless America & may peace reign worldwide!


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Can I get a What What?!!?

Happy news here in Texas-land.  As many of you have read, our move here was much against my will, and I'm still not a Texan, will never be, and will always dream of moving home.  However, it's about to get way cooler up in this place!  Why, you ask?  Well, see these two faces (not the little one)...

They are about to be here PERMANENTLY!!  That's right folks!  My sister and Brother (in-law, my sister didn't marry our brother, we don't even have one) are moving to the big town of Tyler!  They're going to be bunked up here at the Troxclair hizzy for a few months too!

Hallelujah and praise be to God, as I've been praying for this since we parted ways two years ago (she went somewhere much cooler!).  I'm so grateful that I will have my sister here with me and that we can start up some routines that we've been missing #1, TV show watching together--yes, we have a list of shows we enjoy watching together because our husbands just don't get it.  #2  RUNNING, we're about to hit the half/marathon trails together again (though it will be too soon for the Tyler half this year--catch us next year--maybe?!?!).  #3 Cooking, my sister is the bomb digity in the kitchen, and I'm not too shabby, but at least this way we'll be running together to walk the evil deliciousness off!  #4 Concerts, sis and I LOVE music, not always the same stuff, but our tastes coincide more and more and we love to go to concerts, so we'll be doing this madness together--stat!!  This list could continue to grow, but I'll leave it at that.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!!!  Come Sept 30th the reuniting of the sisters begins...