New Day

Today is a new day and I feel like a new person. The weather was glorious today, I'm not sure there is even a word to really put how perfect it was! I get to go to a job that I love everyday, and work with someone that is very fun and has the same passion that I do for youth. That in and of itself is such a great blessing, and something I've been praying for for quite some time.

My day started beautifully, as I went to Pray Date and Katy had posted a song by one of my favorite groups, NeedtoBreathe. It's called Lay it Down and it just reinforces our need to surrender our concerns, our fears, our worries to God. Thanks for the reminder Katy!

I did some research on books regarding Adoption, I've already read a few, but I want to read more. I want to know about the adopted kids and how they feel, what things they might struggle with, and how to address those issues. Knowing full well I can't be prepared for everything, but wanting to educate myself as best I can (while I still have free time to read (: !!). It all still seems so surreal, and I'm wondering if I'll wake up and find it all to be a dream.

We continue to move forward. We received our background checks today, and I'm clean, bet you're all glad to know that!! Not that I could've ever worked with children had I not been, but now I have the 'official' paper to prove it! We'll get that to our attorney and our social worker tomorrow, as I think that is the final portion of information that she needs for our home study. I'd like that to be completely finalized, it will just feel more 'official'.

I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of the nursery furniture, as I can't wait to see it, we picked it out of a catalog basically. Sean is excited that it's a 'boat of a bed', very sturdy and strong! I, of course, can't wait to see it in the nursery and see how good it looks with the newly painted walls.

Thank you all who read my blog and send me sweet comments, they really do bless my soul and I'm grateful. I hope that in some way I convey ways that people feel, and that I can be helpful to someone else who is going through some of the same things. I know each path is unique, and we all have to deal in our own ways, but I'm grateful to have this outlet and to have the support of my friends and family while we walk this winding road!!

Home Study

For those of you who have adopted or know anything about it, you know that in order to be able to adopt you must first complete a home study. This is an intense interview and tour of your home. The interview basically asks you questions to determine your emotional stability, to make sure you're actually ready to adopt. Our social worker (we'll call her Sue), came this evening to do the bulk of our home study. She was delightful really, very encouraging, talkative, and engaging. I wasn't really nervous about this part, as I've been told by some people what to expect, and it held true to what I had been told. I'd say the biggest issue was that Sean and I like to talk, and often talk over one another, but that proved humorous, as it does in our daily lives.

One thing I will say about the interview was that is solidified what I already know about us as a couple, that being the following: we are strong, solid, funny, on the same page, ready to expand our family, and have similar expectations! It was fun to listen to Sean's answers and to give my own, to see what we agreed completely on, and to know where we differed, ever so slightly.

For those of you going through the home study process, don't be scared, don't freak out, your home doesn't have to be white glove clean (though you know my OCD made me have mine that way), and don't stress about being overly prepared. It was actually a good experience. Like I said, we got to talk about us, where we are, how we came to that place, and where we'd like to go. Social workers are amazing people, I've found that from the ones I know, the ones I've worked with, and the ones I've seen personally. I'm greatful for this experience.

I also feel so much better, as I feel like I've been proactive, like we're actually doing something to reach our goal of adoption. A few steps forward feels good! When you battle infertility, you aren't in control, you have no say so (really), and your life seems so up in the air that you're constantly clinging to anything you can control (i.e. my running entry). This feels good, it feels positive, it feels healthy and we are even more excited about the possibility of adopting. We can't wait to add to our family, and I've found that I am just adding little things to the baby closet when I see something.

The other thing that I did recently that felt positive and productive was to decorate the bathroom that will be the baby's whenever that day comes. I kept making myself put it off until we actually had a baby, but then decided that I wanted it cute either way, and why not get that fun and expense out of the way! I must say, I'm happy with the results and will try to upload pics later! I couldn't possibly start the nursery, as it will be different depending on boy or girl, so that's on hold for now, but I'm getting ideas still!! :)

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us today as we tackled this step, we greatly appreciate your love and support! Keep praying for the right baby to meet up with our family, we know he or she is out there!!