Another BLM

A sweet friend of mine is experiencing her second loss today. She has an adorable little boy, but lost twins prior to his birth, and has had a long hard road to having children. This breaks my heart. She and her husband are good, stable, God-loving people who have so much to offer a child. It is so unfair that they are the ones experiencing this loss, not the maybe 16 year old girl that I saw at a gas station today, with her boyfriend who could only put $1 worth of gas in their car, who looked to be about 5-6 months pregnant. Seriously?!?!? These two clearly had no business having a baby, yet there she is with a healthy pregnancy and my sweet friend is losing a baby. It is frustrating and I know I shouldn't be judging and I shouldn't worry about what other people have, etc, etc.

This leads me to a conversation that my friend, Keiah (She wrote "Aftermath" the book I was raving about--google it!) and I had today. We were talking about waiting and about being jealous not of the husband or child that others had, but that they were living the life we wanted, being jealous of their situation, and how we really had to focus on Him and not on everyone else and what they have. That fit right in with a great post from my other dear friend, Shandrea, check it out here. What I have to say after a day like today is that I really am blessed with great friends who have huge hearts for God and I am so grateful for them and their accountability!

So, please say some prayers for my friend, GG, and her sweet hubby, B, and son, N! They are hurting so badly, a second loss does something different to your mind than just one, but praying that they will have peace, and healing!

This is post # 99!!! Awesome, number 100 will come soon!

Service Men and Women

So, I have always truly valued those who serve this country. My Dad served in Viet Nam, as did my Father-in-Law. I have lots of friends whose family serve our country, and I know what a sacrifice it is for all of the family, not just the ones serving.

Tomorrow that service steps much closer to home for me. One of my youth is like family to Sean and I, kinda like a much younger brother. I adore him and he even lived with us for a little while when we moved to Tyler, his name is JZ, and tomorrow he leaves for Army basic training. To say that I'm proud of his decision would be a serious understatement. I know that his desire and passion for serving our country are straight from God and that he's put a lot of thought and prayer into this decision. I've watched him grow up so very much this last year and can't wait to see all that God does in his life! Please pray for his safety as we continue to pray for the safety of all of those who serve our country! Also remember his family when you are praying, as it's hard for all of us to see him leave! We will miss him terribly. We are blessed that so many put their lives on the line so that we can live a life of freedom, one that I think we too often take for granted!

Thank you God for our freedom and the people who help protect it!

**Above are just a few of my favorite photos of him! Top: Him at the first trip I went on with the youth group, yep, his hair is in a mohawk with lifesavers on the spikes (It's amazing I liked him at all after he gave me that look all week!). Left: Me, Him, and Derek at Camp Eagle. Right: being silly hanging out on one of our last nights before moving!

Trouble in Paradise

Not that my life is complete paradise, but I consider myself quite blessed indeed!! I thank God daily for what He has blessed me with and know that He is so generous on my behalf.

With that said, our adoption seems to be heading south right now. It doesn't look as if it's going to happen, due to circumstances that were not brought about by ourselves. The demands that keep coming in and the correspondence that is being recieved are not favorable. That is actually putting it mildly, but I don't want to go into full details. I will ask for continued prayer for both of us, for the baby, and for the birthmother and the situation that she is facing.

That has been ongoing and then yesterday morning my husband called to tell me that my dog (we have 3, this one is MINE) who is 11 years old and has been my constant companion for all these years, is missing. He cannot be found anywhere! O'Brien (a.k.a. the Cutest Dog in America--I tell him everyday) wears a radio collar and it's huge and he won't go near the perimeter, but we're afraid the batteries died without our knowledge and that he wandered out of our yard. I can only pray (and ask for you to pray too) that some sweet person picked him up to keep him safe and they will return them when they see my huge 11X17 laminated posters up near our house! Please pray for his safe return as my heart is torn in two by not having my little guy here. I just hope he's safe, not hurt, and we can bring him home ASAP!!!

Please keep us in your prayers as these seem to be really trying times and we are desperately seeking God's will and His guidance, and trying not to control situations ourselves!

Thank you!!!

Prepping for Cala baby

I shocked that I'm going to have a baby in 106 days, if she goes to her due date! This path has seemed long and unending & it leaves you disillusioned and some say pessimistic. I (and those who've lost, or struggled with IF) will say we're cautious and sometimes we just can't believe it's finally happening for us!

For those of you who are now pregnant, or awaiting your adopted child, who by the way is fully yours, you just were blessed with a special delivery agent, I say I know your trepidation, I echo your broken scared hearts, but I pray we all throw caution to the wind and BELIEVE we too are going to get our happy endings.

I'm trying that now! I've started looking for furniture for Cala and picking everything from pack-n-plays to bouncy seats to diaper bags!!!! I'm enjoying it, but I'll say Baby Mama helps! She texted today and said 'i'm excited for you to be a mommy'! That's a plus! Adoption can be amazing!!!

I had a friend message me today and she said something that I found profound about adoption. She said she's watched so many special friends suffer through infertility while she's watched such undeserving peolple have children over and over, but that maybe our infertility was God's way of getting certain very special babies to these very special families, that maybe otherwisewe wouldn't have considered it at all! True true Dr. Gardner, thanks for the insight!

God is good all the time. All the time God is good! (Though some days it's way harder to see til you're way on the other side!!)

Babydust and love to you all!!