"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born." Isaiah 66:9

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Last post was Overwhelmed, today basketcase!!!

I'm a mess, not in a bad way, but just feeling panicky, like what have I forgotten? All (and I mean ALL, I have all her clothes newborn to 3 months) of her clothes are packed in my car. Her carseat is installed, has been vigorously handled by mom and dad. The pack-n-play is in the car as well. She has diapers, formula, nursery water, diaper bags, socks, shoes, hair bows, you name it--it's in the Tahoe!! I'm going crazy trying to make sure I have everything we will need.

When you adopt from another state, you can be stuck there for a while. We don't know how long we'll be in Louisiana, and though it's not far, I can't leave the state with her until we are cleared, hope it's not too long! So, I want to make sure she has everything she needs! My sweet friends are collectively gathering their baby things and getting them together (the few things I don't already have) to bring over to my mom's. Being an adoption with no shower yet, there are things we still "need", which is a complete overstatement, as we in America have so many "needs" that aren't necessary. Nevertheless, my sweet friends are getting them together to loan to me. My stomach is in knots and I can hardly believe that after 3+ years of trying we might actually have a baby in just two days!

Please continue to pray for Baby Mama, for her peace of mind, for comfort with her decision, for an easy (and I mean EASY) labor, and for her to have support and love when this is over. I can't imagine how she feels. I imagine her heart is broken in so many pieces, but I know that she loves this baby, so please continue to cover her in prayer!

Pray for Cala to be healthy and for me to maintain my sanity and for Sean to have patience with me, as I'm a bit nutty right now (thank goodness I don't have pregnancy hormones to deal with right now too!!).

Only two more days and we'll meet our daughter. Sometime Thursday I'll be a mommy to a live baby. I will never stop missing my babies, but I am beyond thrilled that Cala will be our baby!!! And I'm very happy to know that she has so many angel babies watching over her daily!!

Monday, June 28, 2010


Our birthmother will go into the hospital and be induced on Thursday morning. Sweet baby Cala will be here before we know it!

I feel overwhelmed, to know that my life will be changing so much what seems like overnight! I know that we have been prepping and getting ready, but today there are no children in my house and as of Thursday, I will be a mom--finally!!!

With that being said, I know that this situation is bringing my family much joy and excitement, but it will be a loss for another family. Please pray for them as they endure this great loss. Pray for peace, for comfort, and for healing, which I know will take time and never fully occur.

This has been a bumpy ride, and much harder than I think I anticipated. There are just things that you can't anticipate, and while I love surprises in gift form, I do not like surprises in my personal life. So, it has been hard, but completely worth it the whole way. Continue to pray for our birthmother as she makes this difficult decision and transition.

Coming soon...Cala Fay Troxclair!!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010


I haven't been writing much lately because I've had a lot going on, in life, in my head, etc. It's been a weird time for me.

If things go as planned our birthmother will be admitted to the hospital on Wednesday night (June 30th) next week and will probably deliver on July 1st. There have been some serious questions as to whether or not this was actually going to work out, so that's why none of this has been a subject on my blog. Some stuff is too private for blogging, you know. But today she informed me of the impending delivery of this little baby girl. So, as I sit here on a regular old Thursday night, I wonder if next Thursday night my whole world will be upside down? It's surreal to think that there could be a baby in our home in a few weeks (we'll have to stay in Louisiana to have paperwork finished before we can cross state lines). It's overwhelming. I think I used that word with Britt a few times today, overwhelming. I need to get some bottles, as that's one thing I have none of. So, I we go!!!

Aside from that I'm planning some new half marathon training. There is a half here on October 10th, so my sister, and my Julie are planning on coming over to run it and I think, quite a few of my running family is planning on coming too. I think Skinner is going to sit this one out, on the running end, but I'm going to see if she'll bring the cheer squad, in the form of herself and her two cute kiddos! The other D, said he's up for it, so the Double D's will be running it, he's who ran in NOLA with me--love me some D! So, here I sit typing when running it what I should be doing. Today is only 30 mins with five 30sec pickups throughout the run. I can do this!! I haven't been too active lately, well aside from weeding some 2 acres of flowerbeds, which are murder on my back! So, I'm invisioning my shoes lacing up themselves and my legs pulling me through a 30 min session... That visual stuff never works for me!

I haven't forgotten about the guessing of the birthdate, weight, and length prizes, you will be getting them when the baby is born, unless something goes wrong, in which case I claim full right to drop the ball on that!

So, please send up lots of prayers for us. For a smooth birth for our birthmother, for a healthy baby, for mine and Sean's sanity, and for those surrender papers to be signed 5 days after birth so Cala can be our forever baby girl! (My hands are shaking typing that!!).

****Just a note, I did, in fact run, it was exhilarating and painful! (In a good way). But I did feel like I was underwater in this soaring humidity from the fresh (much needed) rain here in the sweltering south today! Still, mission accomplished!***

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

My dad is an amazing Dad. He's always shown us how to love, how to be positive, how to look at the happier things in life. He is definitely one of my most favorite people. I'm blessed to still have him around, after suffering a heart attack in March (coupled with the fact that all the men in his family have dies early from heart disease). It is a very powerful feeling to know that your dad is there, that he loves you unconditionally, and that you can call him for anything. My dad's smile lights up a room, and he has a way of always putting a positive spin on even the worst things. I love that about him! Happy Father's day to my Dad, you are the best!

Sean is going to be an amazing dad, he was amazing while I was pregnant both times, and I watched his heart break as deeply as mine while he stood solid and firm beside me through both losses. I'm eagerly anticipating the day that he gets that opportunity, whether it happens soon, or if it takes a little longer. I know that one day he will get to teach our children the things that he was taught, and the things that he shows me. My husband's laugh is contagious, it is so loud, so boisterous, that you can't help but laugh when he does. I wish all of you could see him with our godchildren, Guy and Henry, who adore him, or with the girls, oh how the little girls love him, especially Audrey! She never fails to ask about "Doc" and she calls him on the phone all the time! He's just a big kid himself, so he gets into their world and fills it with his jovial spirit. My husband calls himself a realist, so sometimes he sees the glass as half empty, but he never fails to lift me up when I am down. He is strong, supportive, encouraging, funny, sweet, and kind. These traits along with his care-taking skills, his warmth, his passion for the things he loves, and his loyalty are going to make him a wonderful father to our children one day. Happy Father's Day to the man who is the father of my children!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010


I'm not sure if I've said it enough, but I love my job!! What's not to love?!? I'm headed to Talladega, AL to camp tomorrow with about 50 youth/counselors for Student Life Camp. My two co-workers, I'm gonna call them frick and frack today (love them!) have been talking this up all year, so I am PUMPED!

I love to see the way that God works in the lives of these youth, and I get the bonus that He's always pretty active in my own life as well!

This has been a challenging week, aside from the glorious Pat Green, and I'm really looking forward to this trip. I'm excited to see the hearts of these kids on fire for what God has for them. The worship should be wonderful, and I love a good worship song sung by loads of youth!

So, keep us in your prayers this week, for safe travel, for God's will, and for lots of growth! This is gonna be fun...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Pat Green

Last night was monumental in my little world. When I was in college my BFF, Carrie was dating this guy, and he loved Pat Green, so he introduced us to his music, and I must say I'm forever grateful for that share!

I've seen Pat in concert at least a dozen times. When I started listening to him he was on record label out of Texas and very few people outside of Texas knew who he was. I kinda like that! But now, he's a star, and he's made it big, including three grammy nominations for his song "Three Days". I love that song, but my favorite Pat song is "Crazy". It's good stuff. Pat's music is the kind you can listen to over and over and feel like it's your own story so many times.

So, last night after a benefit concert he did in Hallsville, TX, he announced that he would be signing autographs and such until he had done so for every person that wanted it. Needless to say, I was willing to wait as long as I had to. Luckily my partner in crime last night, Jenny, is just as big of a PG fan as I (we drug AJ along too, he might not have been as excited, but he was a trooper!), so we waited, got autographs, and pictures (though I don't know how to get my iphone pics onto here!).

And here's part of why I love Pat, the group two in front of us had a camera, and the battery died, so he stopped what he was doing, asked the girls in front of us to use their camera, and made them exchange emails, all so the boys could get the picture that they wanted. Nothing egotistical about him. Then a lady walked up to have her shirt signed, and he told her "I don't sign shirts on the front, my wife told me to only sign shirts on the back, and I do what my wife says!" Good call, Pat, good call! He was gracious and funny, and never acted impatient.

I've seen Pat a lot of times as I said earlier, and I'll continue to spend my money to support this Texas singer/songwriter. When Sean said we had to move to Tyler, I told him the best thing about Texas was Pat Green. I still feel that way!

Monday, June 7, 2010


Today was a rough day for more than one reason, some won't be discussed. But I was woken with bad news. My dear sweet friend, K, lost her brother last night. I'm not sure of details, but I know that it's a shock and devastating, and he was young. Please pray for their sweet family. K has been so supportive of me over the past few years with my fertility issues, and I don't think I can ever repay the friendship that she has given me, so I desperately want to reach out and be able to 'fix' this for her. My friend, J, and I discussed this morning that we are doers! We want to find a way to 'help' her, just sitting by makes us crazy. But what can we do? So, I ask for prayers for her, as I know her brother meant the world to her, and that her heart must be broken in a million pieces.

It puts life into perspective for me. I wouldn't trade my sister for a baby. I really really really want a baby, but I wouldn't trade my sister to have one. So, today I'm especially grateful for my sister and super sad that she's too far away to hug. There is nothing that can replace a sibling and the loss that would remain, the hole in my heart that would be there would never heal. I'm sad for K!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Funny/Helpful Post to Share

I read this on my sweet friend at Baby on My Mind's blog today, so go over and read this post "16 Things You Shouldn't Say to CNBC (childless not by choice)", as it is some good information! BOMM always finds these great posts and shares, and I love her for that!!

These things are sad but true and some of them made me laugh out loud, some made me cringe, and some things made me scared! So, enjoy, share away, as I continue to try to get the word out about infertility and things not to say!

I hope everyone is having a great week. I'm heading out for a trip with Hubby this weekend. Seeing as how we will be parents in about 4 weeks if all goes welll, we are taking this time to go play together and enjoy each other, which has been hard lately with the anxieties that are weighing on us! So, here's to a fun weekend away (after I go help with a lock-in tomorrow night at the church!!).