"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born." Isaiah 66:9

Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Eve

I know that's what most people think of today & obviously that crosses my mind too.

Though in my life today marks the due date for my second angel baby, Michael. Had all things gone well I would be at home celebrating a first birthday! While the pain is less this year, it's still there and the images of a sweet little almost one year old at Christmas still flash across my mind! It doesn't go away, not ever. My MIL lost her last baby on NYE years ago and still recalls it. It never goes away.

One of my sweet sorority sisters lost a baby earlier this year. Her angel would be due today and having been there I know it's sad. On a side note, after her loss, she did the same thing I did and ran a half marathon (we were both inactive in college) and to say she did well is quite the understatement! She kicked butt!!! Much love to you honey!!

So Happy NYE! Remembering angel babies all over!


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Year in Review 2010

I'm going to make this short and sweet...

Bad things in 2010:
1. O'Brien dying. This was really the worst thing of the year. That may sound ridiculous, considering #2, but when you're a dog lover and had a dog for 11 years, the loss is profound! I think about him everyday, literally every single day. When I pulled out my Christmas things his stocking was in there and his little Bah Humbug hoodie (which he hated, but was perfect for him), and I cried a river of tears for my little guy!

2. Our adoption that was a scam (sadly today I came across more ultrasound pics, which I thought I had gotten rid of, and it just baffled me to think that someone could be so very intentionally cruel). I feel like I'm over the anger most of the time, but sometimes it just overwhelms me again!

Good things about 2010:
1. I got a job at the church doing exactly what I've been wanting to do for a few years now, overseeing all of the girls ministry activities! Bonus: I love the people I work with!

2. I started making friends in Tyler, which was a must! Thanks to Kristi for making me feel so welcome and always making me laugh. Also got to meet a fellow BLM, Brittany, who is like a sister now and we have a blast together, I think, even when we're sad about our babies!

3. After losing O'Brien we got O'Hara. She is a bag of handful and more of a diva than anyone I know, but she's pretty cute and entertaining too. Still, like children, one animal never replaces another!

4. Hubby got a new partner at work, which lightened the load, at least for a little while!

5. My Fab5 (other 4) encouraged me and helped me to find a great RE, who I saw in September initially (following a rave recommendation from sweet Amy). We had testing done, found our culprit and how to treat it. This leads to #6...

6. We are pregnant and farther along than we've ever been with things looking great. We are thankful beyond words, and I wish that I could give this gift to every BLM out there who is still waiting on their rainbow baby!

These are just highlights, there are many more good things that happened this year (my getting to go to 4 LSU games, only one of which we lost), and for all of the blessings, and all of the wonderful people in our lives I'm soooo full of joy!

Monday, December 27, 2010

I believe it's time...

to let you know that there is a baby Troxclair on the way! I am 12 weeks pregnant today! We are very excited and have had great appointments throughout this entire pregnancy (today was our 5th u/s, so lots of pics of baby T). If you look over at the new page I've made it tells the whole story of this pregnancy. After the Natural Killer Cell hyperactivity diagnosis, Dr. S (the RE in Dallas) recommended IVF, as there are meds that need to be administered at very specific times, and he felt this was our best option. We did that, actually a Micro IVF, which uses lower doses of meds (thank goodness! as I overstimulated). So, I've been writing entries and not publishing them, but I wanted to have record of the whole process, so check out Additional Info on my homepage.

I know this news is hard for some people to read, and believe me I completely understand, and while I hope you'll all continue to follow, I completely understand if you can't right now. I won't give any flowery words about how your time is coming and all the positive crap because I know that it really doesn't help at this point. The only advice I do have is this...if you have seen an RE and had a horrible experience, felt like they weren't listening, thought maybe you were at a cattle ranch being herded through, or have been doing the same thing over and over, there is hope. Try to find another RE, as not all of them are most interested in making money! I highly recommend the Sher Institutes ( And I wish you good luck!!!

I don't want this blog to be all about baby, so when we know what we're having we will be starting a blog just for our child and future children! I'll put some u/s pics up there when I make it!

***for anyone who wants to see them, there are u/s pics now on the additional info page at the bottom***

Friday, December 24, 2010

Hair Jazz

Last year my hilarious fun friends, Susie & Jennifer (aka Skinner) decided to start a new tradition. We started a monthly girls night out, referred to as Guhs. There are membership requirements, but they're top secret! We started with an annual Christmas party/hair jazz competition. Last year I won hands down, but this year the Guhs brought their A game & I slid to third place (happily as it was hilarious to go to a restaurant with 9 Guhs with hair jazz, some of which lit up!!)!

Emily and I at 1st annual hair jazz competition.

2nd annual hair jazz competition.

Merry Christmas to all and thanks to my Guhs for making it fun! I love y'all!!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Just remembering...

Today how very blessed I am to have so many people who love me, care about me, and want the best for me! What a comforting feeling and how very blessed I am!!

Merry Christmas!


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, December 10, 2010

Oh Christmas Tree and My Fur Babies

Wishing everyone a Merry Merry Christmas as we all remember our babies and celebrate the blessings that we do have! My fur babies make things brighter at my house...

I'll never catch Tasso (the cat) for a good pic, but here he and O'Hara are having fun with some ribbon I dropped!
Sampson, my sweet boy, is chilling on the sofa!

Caught Noble looking while she was stretching
The lighting is too bright but her bow has Christmas trees and her shirt says "Santa Baby"!
All the babies got groomed yesterday, but Noble would not smile for a picture!!!
LSU tree all lit up, there are some great decorations on there!!!In our LSU game room, mantle and tree decor

Tree in the family room, all red, white, and silver
My mantle and fireplace...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sittin' by the Fire

This cold weather makes me unhappy! I don't like to be cold. I can't seem to get warm lately! When we moved in here last year we were busy, and let's face it, I was depressed and not doing much! So, our fireplaces never got inspected to make sure they were ok. Well, yesterday the nice Chimney Sweep guy came out and cleaned our chimneys--hooray! There was an empty squirrel nest, and he removed that, so tonight, I lit it up! Ahh the warmth!!!

I love a real fire with crackling wood, but our fireplaces have the fake logs, which I have to admit I like! No trudging outside to get wood, no mess, no overwhelming smell of fire in your hair and everything else!!! I'm happier than a clam in my red pjs Sean got me for our first Christmas and all of my animals sleeping around me! Nighty night!!!