Pregnancy Announcements abound

They are getting easier to hear, but they still sting. And it does seem like they are everywhere right now. Most of the ones I've heard lately are from fellow BLMs, which makes them so very bittersweet. There is nothing more that I wish for my sweet friends. Some of them are announcements that I'd rather not hear, and some make me really sad that it's not my announcement. Maybe that will always be the case, but I'm sure once Cala is here and in my arms, the announcements won't be nearly as hard to hear.

This brings me to a blogpost that I read just now on Anchored By Hope, you should check out the poem, it's very insightful!

We had a good time last night with friends here in Tyler and I was very happy that my dearest friend, Shawn, came over from Shreveport. I miss her a lot and it was just good to have her here and comfortable to have someone who knows you well enough to know that the reason you really like Drug Emporium is because they have cinnamon Certs (no one carries those anymore and they're my fav!!). I'm very blessed with very great friends, and Shawn is loyal beyond what could ever be expected.

When I mention a friend on here, I'm always worried that someone will get their feelings hurt that they weren't mentioned, that's not my intention, like I said I have many many many great friends that bless me beyond measure.

In saying that I'd also like to say Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet godson, Henry, who is about the cutest little boy that you've ever seen, and I'm not biased! ;)

Finally, I want to just say thank you to everyone who has been praying for us lately. I know that you've been praying for a long time, but this past week I've been so filled with peace and calm, that I know that it has to be attributed to intercessory prayer, so thank you, ALL of you!!

Mother's Day

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to my mom, who gave me life, loves me unconditionally, taught me to love God, and supports me all the time. She gave me a Mother's day gift, from Layla and Michael. It's a pitcher from Pier One. We Reid women have a sick obsession with dishes. I seriously could buy dishes constantly, I have to make myself not do it! So, thank you for that Mom, that was a beautiful gesture and I appreciate it so very much. Layla and Michael are my children and I am their mother forever!

Secondly, it's Mother's Day (well technically not anymore since it's so late!). Today was fraught with ups and downs. Getting to church this morning and seeing friends was great, the music was, as usual, AWESOME. I'm grateful to go to a church (at home) with such great talent, and that makes me feel so at home, (no offense to my church here in Tyler, it's just not home). I started out fine and I flip-flopped between fine, ok, not-so-good, and sad all day long.

I'm putting this on here, so prepare. Dealing with a birthmother is H-A-R-D! I'm confident she feels the same way. She's having her own issues in life (which seem quite overwhelming without the whole 'I'm giving my baby to someone else' thing), and she's hormonal, and while we both have the best interest of the baby at heart, we are human people, dealing with our own human emotions. It doesn't help that we only communicate via text, which I think is a piss poor way to talk. That's all I seem to get, and you can't communicate feelings, emotion, and tone that way. So, I find that I think she is pissed pretty much constantly, and I think she thinks the same of me. Truth be told, sometimes I am pissed. I'm pissed that she is carrying this baby and I'm not. I'm pissed that this isn't just some easy peesy, hallmark movie that goes just so and no one ever gets upset. I'm pissed that it's hard! Who knows what I really expected in the beginning, but it hasn't gone 'that way', not that I can identify 'that way' or that I could've told you what 'that way' was beforehand. We (me and baby mama) have in our moments of clarity, said that this is hard, we both recognize that, and that we wish there were a manual to tell us how to handle all of this. So, I think that's the best we can hope for.

I know that God gave me these circumstances for a reason, and I see glimmers of them here and there and I know they will become more clear as time goes on. I am grateful to have a birthmother, grateful to be getting a baby in the next 6-8 weeks (yes, seriously, that soon!!). I am grateful to have the love and support of my family, and though it's often hard, I'm grateful that I communicate with my birthmother. I hope that in the end we will both be better for all that we've gone through. Most of all I hope that for all that is good, God gets the glory, and for where it fails, that all know it's my humanness taking over, not God dropping the ball.

That's my Mother's Day post. Happy Mother's Day to all and to all a good night!