Another story...

I have this sweet friend who was a huge help to me this summer without having to be at all. I feel such a great debt to her, as she helped me out when she barely knew me and I think she is a phenomenal person!!! We were connected by a mutual friend because she was in the process of adopting too and we bonded over that. When I tell you she is one of the sweetest people I know--I'm serious, I'm not sure there is a mean bone in her body!!

So...in November she and her husband were matched with a baby through the state's foster-to-adopt program and have had that sweet baby for almost 2 months now!! They are in love and over the moon! I ask that you join me in praying for them and for this sweet little baby girl, that they will be her forever family! They are cherishing every day that they have with her and are praying for 'one more day' each day. Please join me and them in this prayer, as this baby would be soooo blessed to be in this family forever! Her faith and her husband's faith are so strong and such a testament to how good God is and how trusting Him, though it's not always an easy road, will eventually lead to the best possible outcome! Their situation is currently temporary, so I don't want to reveal names, but God will know, so hit your knees for them!!!

Asking for Prayers

As I continue to be surrounded by so much love and support from all of my family, friends, and fellow bloggers/blms, I wanted to ask for prayers today.

Sean and I are trying our hand again at the whole baby having thing. So, if you will lift us up in prayer for this endeavor, we would be grateful, as we have been for all of your prayers. It is still our dream to have our own children and I now have the courage to try again.

We are still in talks about adopting, and believe that it continues to be something that our family will do. Right now, we're debating domestic vs. international, and which agencies we want to investigate. For the moment, we need a break from that though, our recent experience is too raw to dive in head-first again just yet!

I hope everyone has a glorious weekend, mine is starting early as I head home to visit with some friends and as my Granny always said, go to the beauty shop! HaHaHa!! I'll have pictures to share afterwards!!

How do I say this?...

I'll just have to put it out there. I think that writing this will be therapeutic...

Our adoption was a scam. Literally, from the beginning, our birthmother never intended to give us the baby and has done this to another family previously. Wow! That was hard to write.

So, there it is in black and white. She is an actual criminal, not like ha!ha!, but seriously, it's like her career. I know she's read this before, which is where she began her attack on my family. So, if you're reading this, Darla, thanks for such a wild ride!

While I am very sad that we didn't end up with a baby, I also know that the best thing possible has happened. Had we given up in the process, this would never have been found out and she might be able to do this to yet another family. Throughout the whole process I was skeptical, there were lots of alarms about this little girl, and many times we wanted to bail. As I continuously prayed about the situation, I never was given confirmation to bail. I assumed that that was because regardless of her baloney, we'd end up with a baby in the end. Sometimes what we think are the purpose, and what really are, end up different. I believe in this case, our experience was to be able to help stop this girl from hurting anyone else (her rap sheet tells a story of the many people she's taken in her wake).

From early on, I said that I wanted to work on adoption reform, to decrease the chances for families (who desperately want children) being taken advantage of in return for monetary assistance. Currently in many states, a birthmother can be paid living expenses, medical expenses, and even more. Now, I will say that I am in no way bashing birthmothers, I know that there are some amazing women out there who lovingly gave their children better homes--I know quite a few of these adopted children and they are blessed! I am saying that there should be reform to decrease the birthmothers, who promise their children in return for money and then "change their minds" in the end. I'm certain that this happens out of the sheer inability to let go of their children most of the time, but then there are scammers, and people who just really aren't honest and are trying to get a buck without working for it. Then families like ours get pulled through the mud, lose our money that we worked hard for, and end up broken-hearted again.

Luckily, in this instance, I can see the purpose early on. It is refreshing to see all of the ways that God worked in this situation. We did prepare and decorate and buy clothes, but no one in our families truly believed that this adoption was going to happen (I may be speaking out of turn, but this is my blog!). I believe that the Holy Spirit kept our hearts guarded for a reason, so that the loss wouldn't be as great, and we would be able to recover. We [Reids and Troxclairs] are some serious fighters and overcome obstacles together. Sean and I are a pretty strong team, and continue to grow stronger as we face obstacles together. My husband is my greatest gift from God since I've been grown (see how I did that because my sister came when I was little!!). Secondly, God has also shown me that He can TRULY support me and hold me up if I'll only trust Him!

After my second loss, I was so angry with God, maybe I needed somewhere to focus it, but instead of clinging to Him, I blamed Him. This experience has been much different, as my faith has grown so much over the past year. Probably being so fully against our move yet seeing just how much God has done here, I've learned a lot about His sovereignty. Throughout this whole surreal experience I have had a calm and a peace. I knew that as many people as we had praying for this situation that the outcome, even if I didn't love it, would certainly be God's will for us. So, when the answer was NO, I was at peace.

Thank you so much to all of our friends and family who have been praying for us. Your love and support have helped sustain us as God's perfectly placed angels on earth! Continue to pray for our next steps in "Making Our Troxclair Family"!!

p.s. I know that some people are wondering if we will use the name Cala Fay with another baby, the answer is YES! This was NOT our Cala Fay (this baby has actually had another name all along used by her parents in maternity pictures that I found I might add!!). Our baby has yet to be put with us, but we BELIEVE that one day she will!

Overwhelmed

Our birthmother will go into the hospital and be induced on Thursday morning. Sweet baby Cala will be here before we know it!

I feel overwhelmed, to know that my life will be changing so much what seems like overnight! I know that we have been prepping and getting ready, but today there are no children in my house and as of Thursday, I will be a mom--finally!!!

With that being said, I know that this situation is bringing my family much joy and excitement, but it will be a loss for another family. Please pray for them as they endure this great loss. Pray for peace, for comfort, and for healing, which I know will take time and never fully occur.

This has been a bumpy ride, and much harder than I think I anticipated. There are just things that you can't anticipate, and while I love surprises in gift form, I do not like surprises in my personal life. So, it has been hard, but completely worth it the whole way. Continue to pray for our birthmother as she makes this difficult decision and transition.

Coming soon...Cala Fay Troxclair!!!

Random

I haven't been writing much lately because I've had a lot going on, in life, in my head, etc. It's been a weird time for me.

If things go as planned our birthmother will be admitted to the hospital on Wednesday night (June 30th) next week and will probably deliver on July 1st. There have been some serious questions as to whether or not this was actually going to work out, so that's why none of this has been a subject on my blog. Some stuff is too private for blogging, you know. But today she informed me of the impending delivery of this little baby girl. So, as I sit here on a regular old Thursday night, I wonder if next Thursday night my whole world will be upside down? It's surreal to think that there could be a baby in our home in a few weeks (we'll have to stay in Louisiana to have paperwork finished before we can cross state lines). It's overwhelming. I think I used that word with Britt a few times today, overwhelming. I need to get some bottles, as that's one thing I have none of. So, I guess...here we go!!!

Aside from that I'm planning some new half marathon training. There is a half here on October 10th, so my sister, and my Julie are planning on coming over to run it and I think, quite a few of my running family is planning on coming too. I think Skinner is going to sit this one out, on the running end, but I'm going to see if she'll bring the cheer squad, in the form of herself and her two cute kiddos! The other D, said he's up for it, so the Double D's will be running it, he's who ran in NOLA with me--love me some D! So, here I sit typing when running it what I should be doing. Today is only 30 mins with five 30sec pickups throughout the run. I can do this!! I haven't been too active lately, well aside from weeding some 2 acres of flowerbeds, which are murder on my back! So, I'm invisioning my shoes lacing up themselves and my legs pulling me through a 30 min session... That visual stuff never works for me!

I haven't forgotten about the guessing of the birthdate, weight, and length prizes, you will be getting them when the baby is born, unless something goes wrong, in which case I claim full right to drop the ball on that!

So, please send up lots of prayers for us. For a smooth birth for our birthmother, for a healthy baby, for mine and Sean's sanity, and for those surrender papers to be signed 5 days after birth so Cala can be our forever baby girl! (My hands are shaking typing that!!).

****Just a note, I did, in fact run, it was exhilarating and painful! (In a good way). But I did feel like I was underwater in this soaring humidity from the fresh (much needed) rain here in the sweltering south today! Still, mission accomplished!***

Nursery pictures...

The much awaited nursery pictures are finally being posted. I'm very happy about how everything has turned out. I'm also excited about the things that I made myself, I covered her lamp shade, made the bulletin board, painted the Calla Lillies, and the "Monkey See Monkey Do" sign, put together the flower arrangement on her bookshelf, painted the letters of her name to match her bedding, and painted her cross and added the cute sequin monkey! I'm also going to do a nightlight to match her lampshade, so I'll post that later.

I decided to post a link to shutterfly for everyone to see the pictures there, as posting all of the pictures on here would be too much!! Also for those who don't want to look, you certainly don't have to!!!

http://calafaytroxclair.shutterfly.com/

I've also washed a lot of her clothes and put them in the closet, in her dresser, and am starting to pack up diaper bags.

I leave tomorrow for a mission trip in New Orleans with our college kids, which I'm very excited for, but I wanted to be as ready as possible before I left so I could give my all while I'm there. When I get back I'll be here for two weeks, then take our youth to camp, which I'm banking on being a life changing experience for them, so again I wanted to be able to give my all while we are there too! Please be praying for those trips, but also for our baby girl as we prepare to bring her home. She can come anytime after I get back from camp. Baby Mama will be 37 weeks on June 17th, which is full term, so we'll see when she arrives. Pray for an easy delivery for Baby Mama, as her first childbirth was very awful, and I know she doesn't want that to happen again! So, keep us all in your prayer!

Pregnancy Announcements abound

They are getting easier to hear, but they still sting. And it does seem like they are everywhere right now. Most of the ones I've heard lately are from fellow BLMs, which makes them so very bittersweet. There is nothing more that I wish for my sweet friends. Some of them are announcements that I'd rather not hear, and some make me really sad that it's not my announcement. Maybe that will always be the case, but I'm sure once Cala is here and in my arms, the announcements won't be nearly as hard to hear.

This brings me to a blogpost that I read just now on Anchored By Hope, you should check out the poem, it's very insightful!

We had a good time last night with friends here in Tyler and I was very happy that my dearest friend, Shawn, came over from Shreveport. I miss her a lot and it was just good to have her here and comfortable to have someone who knows you well enough to know that the reason you really like Drug Emporium is because they have cinnamon Certs (no one carries those anymore and they're my fav!!). I'm very blessed with very great friends, and Shawn is loyal beyond what could ever be expected.

When I mention a friend on here, I'm always worried that someone will get their feelings hurt that they weren't mentioned, that's not my intention, like I said I have many many many great friends that bless me beyond measure.

In saying that I'd also like to say Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet godson, Henry, who is about the cutest little boy that you've ever seen, and I'm not biased! ;)

Finally, I want to just say thank you to everyone who has been praying for us lately. I know that you've been praying for a long time, but this past week I've been so filled with peace and calm, that I know that it has to be attributed to intercessory prayer, so thank you, ALL of you!!