Well, I was ready to do a funny entry, because, really, I'm a funny person (at least I think so and that's all that matters!!). But I have to be real and really what I felt yesterday was this...
Why Not Me? I'm not overly upset or depressed or anything. I just daily hear of someone else who is pregnant or has just had a baby, and I think, why not me? Why can't it be my turn? It's especially hard when I see people with more children than they can care for, or people not taking good care of their children, or people who expose their children to things that can be harmful. Seriously, I'm not crying in my soup here (and I just made some yummy taco soup!!), just actually curious.
This entry has evolved to be a two parter, and for part one, my thoughts are these...
1. Most of us baby lost moms and women fighting fertility issues, think these things. It doesn't make us bad people, or poor pitiful people, it makes us human. There are tons of other thoughts that I only share with those close to me, but I'll share some as time goes on.
2. It's not me because everything is not about me!! I know, I'm shocked too! Really, I thought it was. But truthfully, our society teaches us that it is alllll about us, me first, mine, mine, mine, and how can I help myself, make myself happy. Really, that's not the point. This life is not about us, it's about glorifying God, and if this be my platform, thank you, God, for entrusting it to me!
The second part of this message will follow maybe tomorrow, but it is about hope, something I am full of at this point.
Sending love to all my baby lost mommy friends, and those who encircle me day after day, let me cry, let me talk, make me laugh and forget the hurt part, force me to look past myself, and pray for me and Sean. Thank you for your love and prayers!! Keep them coming, as the best is yet to come!!
Sadler Graham, you are 6 years old!
3 days ago