"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born." Isaiah 66:9

Monday, December 7, 2009

Why not me, part 2...(noteworthy entry!!)

So, yesterday I pointed out the 'why not me?' question that so many of us go through. I spoke with another friend today (who isn't actually trying for a baby yet, but wants to be) who said she heard last week of two friends who were pregnant and she was instantly jealous. She told me that she had a small insight into how I and some others who've been trying for a long time felt.

Here's where I am today...I still think, Why not me? And Sean and I have discussed this before, though he's not as eager to chat about it as I am!! I'm not pulling a piti party, and am not feeling all down in the dumps, but, yes, it does hurt that it's not me/us. That being said, we have been trying to be objective about this, look at it from different angles, and possibly see more than meets the eye! For instance, what is God trying to teach us? What lesson are we missing? How can we be using this experience for good (hello blog!)? Is there something He wants us to do? Then it occured to me (over a time span)... He may very well have something that He wants us to do, something that has been tugging at my heart for a while. So, Sean and I discussed it. He asked me some very pointed questions (I love that about my husband) and the answers came out honestly, without reservation. We agreed and a decision has been reached. Some of you have probably guessed it, so here it is...

We are persuing adoption!!

This was not a flippant decision that we just made on a whim. We've actually discussed it in mulitple scenarios, mulitple times. On a long drive, after lots of discussion (thank God for long drives and the opportunity to talk uninterrupted) we are ready to move forward.

We will continue to try for natural children, but I will not be taking any medications and we will forgo any further medical intervention at this time.

Currently we are doing research on agencies, lawyers, different state's laws, locating birthmothers, and preparing for the transition. We ask for prayers, and for everyone to keep their ears open in case you hear of a mother who needs a forever home for her child (though we'd like to you NOT share lots of information about us, just that we're great people who want a baby and can provide for a child). If you know someone who has adopted and would be a good source of information, we'd love to talk to them. We are in Texas now, so anyone with information here would be really helpful! We definately need love, support, prayers, no negativity, and open ears!

Deni and Sean


  1. When something is "right" you have a tugging sensation within your heart that whispers gently to your inner being and reasures you of your decision. I do believe you have that sensation and will pray that your prayers for a child of the heart are answered.

    As for me, I am a "child of the heart", my fathers heart, as he was not my biological father, but loved me so deeply that I NEVER knew the difference...and that is a beautiful thing :)Love for a child and sharing that love trumps genetics.

    I have full faith your "wishes" of a child of the heart as well as an Earthly child of your own will come to fruition...they will my sweet friend. Continue to let him direct your steps and "anything is possible"

    Love and Prayers
    Phil 4:13

  2. Hey Deni!
    You and your husband are in my prayers!
    I love and miss you!

  3. Deni,
    I love this post, and I am so so happy for you both and will constantly be praying as I always do for you :) The only other blogger Mom I can think of is Shannon, but it was an overseas adoption. Maybe she can give you some insight though? Her blog is
    Love and hugs to you sweetie! Nan xo

  4. I just had to stop over. I came over from the Reiber's blog. I am so sorry for the losses your have been through. Please know that I care and that I will pray for your comfort. I would love to send you a handkerchief to catch your tears. I need you full name and address. My blog is called "For Your Tears" Take care and God Bless.

  5. Wow! What you posted today and yesterday is how i feel so often and reading your post actually made me smile. It's nice to hear someone else say the things i feel. ( That way i don't feel totally crazy) (smilling) Congrats on decideing to adopt, i know it was not an easy decision, but i think it takes courage to even discuss the topic and i commend you for it. You inspire me and you give me hope. I wish you well and you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!:)
    Hugs and Love

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. I can dedicate two Monarchs for your children if you would like...

  7. We have some very good friends who did their adoption privately through a lawyer and had absolutely no problems. My very best friend,
    Mary Catherine Warner Foret is adopted and I am so grateful for her and her parents. Good for you! I also work with a lady who adopted a son and became pregnant soon after...her sons are 7 months apart.

  8. I loved catching up last night! So glad you are allowing us to follow your journey! Love you guys!

  9. Wishing you luck on your upcoming adoption journey! I will be praying that you will navigate through this peacfully and quickly! This child is going to be lucky to have such a wonderful caring mommy! *HUGS*