So, I told you all last week that I met with a potential birthmother, and that Sean would be meeting her this past Friday, what I did not ellaborate on was that our "Baby Mama" (as we like to refer to her, and that is her preferential name for the blog) and I have been emailing and texting for the past couple of weeks and getting along really well. Coming up on this meeting between Baby Mama and Sean, they were both extremely nervous, "What if he/she doesn't like me?", "What if she/they change their mind?", etc, etc.
Well, the meeting went swimmingly, to say the least, my husband is ready to adopt not only the baby, but also Baby Mama. They totally hit it off and following yet another 3.5 hour visit, we were laughing, sharing stories, and cutting up! Afterwards Baby Mama and I emailed and she said she was so glad that it went to well. One cannot fully describe how awkward the first meetings are, but I'll say that Baby Mama hit it on the head when she said, "I felt like I was going on a blind date." Upon attempting our initial contact, she chose to email me first, as she said calling up and saying, "Hey! This is 'Baby Mama' do you want my baby?" was just a little too much! Needless to say, she's funny, which many of you know is of extreme importance to me, hence the marriage to Sean!!
I know everyone has a zillion questions, so I'm going to try to answer some here, so that you can read and we're not repeating ourselves a million times...
First, we have not met with our lawyer yet (and no I don't need anyone's opinion on that), we will be meeting with him and her together the week after this as Sean will be working all this week. But I will be calling the attorney tomorrow to get some things rolling!
Second, the birthfather (we're not close, so he didn't specify his nickname of choice) is aware of the plans and has agreed to sign over his rights, so we'll be getting that taken care of as soon as we can.
Our adoption will be partially open, in that we have agreed that letters, phone calls, pictures were all acceptable forms of communication after the birth, but that visits may be very difficult on our sweet Baby Mama and confusing to our baby. We are very happy that we are on the same page about this. We know what all the options are and have agreed that we're comfortable here, but also that if something were to change, we can definately revisit the issue.
Baby Mama is beautiful, smart, organized, very careful with taking care of herself and baby, and has a very bright future ahead of her! We believe she is one of the most unselfish people we've ever encountered and are blessed to have her!
The laws for adoption vary from state to state, so in our state of adoption, Baby Mama can sign her rights over 5 days following birth, but birthfather can do it at anytime. We will also be crossing state lines, so we will have to stay in the birthstate for a little while for ICPC to be handled (Interstate something something compact, basically no baby trafficing).
Our families are thrilled and completely supportive, the reaction from them and our friends (i.e. extended family) would lead anyone else to believe that I was actually carrying this baby myself!! We haven't decided how we are going to handle showers and stuff and may wait until after baby's arrival to do those things, that is something Sean and I will discuss further!
We cannot put into words the feelings that we have right now. We are over the moon, can't believe it, and continue to pinch ourselves daily. With that said, we know that many of you are concerned about us and worried that something could go wrong or fall through. We are grown intelligent adults, we know that is always a possibility, so thank you for your concern, the best way you can support us is with your earnest prayers! Throughout our trials we've tried to lean on God and trust Him, and everyone knows some days are harder than others, but in the end we always know that God is in control. We will continue to stand firm in that trust and know that the maker of the world cares about us!
During my second pregnancy this verse appeared over and over and over in my life, think God was trying to say something?!?!?!
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound-mind."
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