We still wait. We still wonder and we still hope that in the end Baby Mama makes the best decision for her child. To know that this child I've been hoping, planning, and praying for since January has been in this world almost 3 days now and I've never even seen her face breaks my heart. And I could go home again to an empty cradle, nursery, and heart. I'm not sure how this could be happening to me, it seems so surreal. It's so painful, so unfathomable to me that someone would be so deceptive when I've offered everything I know how to make this transition easier.
If she had said, I need to keep her for a couple of days, then I would've gladly done that, as I know more than a lot of other adoptive mothers know how much pain it causes. My grandmother was adopted on my dad's side, one of my aunts gave up a baby for adoption, I have multiple adopted friends, and friends who have adopted. My nature is to put others first and I can't imagine that after all of this she wouldn't see that and would think it necessary to go off and have the baby in secret and leave me completely in the dark.
I'm crushed...
Posts
SAYING GOODBYE....
10 months ago
I'm continuing to pray!! My heart aches for you. I'm so sorry!!
ReplyDeleteTo say that I am heartbroken for your family is an extreme understatement. I am praying for you all and the child who delivered your baby. May she understand the gravity of this. Love to all of you Deni. So thankful that you are a true believer and have HIM to trust! Praying constantly
ReplyDeleteYou are right. . . It is deceptive, and my heart is breaking with you. I'm really sorry. I'm still hoping and praying it all works out.
ReplyDeleteThinking about and praying for you! Hoping you receive some good news really soon!
ReplyDeleteDeni, you've been on my heart so much. I just don't understand this at all and I'm so sorry you are going through this dark time of uncertainty and heartache. I pray that you will have some answers soon and a positive resolution to this. Sending you tons of love.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you and am still hoping with you. It is unbearable to think of you having to go home empty armed again. I am so sorry. xo
ReplyDeleteI am so, so sorry. Lots of prayers for you and your family.
ReplyDeletePraying, praying, praying!
ReplyDeletePraying and hoping for you as well.
ReplyDeleteStill praying and hoping...your name was on my heart and lips every time I woke up in the night and just prayed for God to grant you the miracle of your sweet little Cala...holding to the hope as well.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
I am praying for you. You are right...this is unimaginable. I pray that she puts this baby first and places her in your arms, the best place for her to be. I am so sorry that you have to endure this. I will keep praying.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand, either. Praying for you, Deni. xxx
ReplyDeleteMore hope and more prayers, you know how I feel...love you xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm here through Nan, and just wanted you to know that I am sending all the prayers and love and positive energy that I can-and not giving up hope that you are going to bring your beautiful Cala home with you.
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand :( I hope your waiting is over very, very soon.
I've been reading your blog for a while and never posted, but I wanted to let you know that my heart is breaking for you and I'm hoping beyond hope that the situation works out in your favor. I can't imagine what you're going through. So many hugs your way....
ReplyDeleteOh Deni, I am so sorry that she is being so secretive! I will be praying for you! *HUGS*
ReplyDelete