We still wait. We still wonder and we still hope that in the end Baby Mama makes the best decision for her child. To know that this child I've been hoping, planning, and praying for since January has been in this world almost 3 days now and I've never even seen her face breaks my heart. And I could go home again to an empty cradle, nursery, and heart. I'm not sure how this could be happening to me, it seems so surreal. It's so painful, so unfathomable to me that someone would be so deceptive when I've offered everything I know how to make this transition easier.
If she had said, I need to keep her for a couple of days, then I would've gladly done that, as I know more than a lot of other adoptive mothers know how much pain it causes. My grandmother was adopted on my dad's side, one of my aunts gave up a baby for adoption, I have multiple adopted friends, and friends who have adopted. My nature is to put others first and I can't imagine that after all of this she wouldn't see that and would think it necessary to go off and have the baby in secret and leave me completely in the dark.
Goodbye 2nd Grade, Goodbye Kindergarten
1 week ago