Hallelujah

Well, that was my facebook post yesterday (still is since I don't change it every 5 seconds), and this is why...

We got back our test results from everything with Dr. S at the best clinic ever (hope that doesn't change). It seems weird to say that I'm excited that they found something, but for those of us who have had more than one loss, you know that having a reason is paramount. If you have a reason, you know what to do, you know if you can treat it, you feel that you've been responsible by finding it so as not to have another loss, and you are glad to know it's nothing that you 'did' that caused your losses.

With all of that said, all of hubby's tests came back normal, hooray for the love of my life! He is the best thing that ever happened to me. I, however, wasn't so lucky! If you've lost more than one child, you know that it makes you feel like a little death trap, and you want to stop it if you can. Many women who lose more than one baby don't even want to try again for fear of killing another baby. Sounds dramatic, but really it's how we feel.

Without further ado, I have hyperactive Natural Killer Cells!! Yep, these little cells are in everyone's body, mine are on overdrive, which means they are attacking my embryos, usually before they ever implant, but obviously twice ours got past that (which to me means that Layla and Michael were some serious fighters!!!). This is good news because as Dr. S says "if you have to have something wrong, this is a good one because it's easily treatable!". There are a few choices for treatment and the clinic where I go is fairly cutting edge, so we will be using IV intralipids to treat the NK cells, or suppress them so they don't keep killing my babies!

We are very happy to have an answer/diagnosis! I finally feel hopeful after a very long time of feeling despondent. Since we know what is happening, we actually have a plan. This new clinic is full of helpful people, who are kind to me, call me by name (which is my nickname, but they got it right the first time), and didn't freak out when I had a mini mental last week and cried on the phone to all of them! So, here's praying that a plan ends with a happy, healthy, "bring home baby" (that term is thanks to my friend, Katharine, I like it!).

Special thanks to Andrea, Shandrea, and Nan for encouraging (pushing me when I couldn't do it myself) me to find a new RE!!

And again I say Hallelujah, and share this song with you!

P.S. If anyone is interested in the clinic that I'm going to and my RE, you are welcome to email me and ask, I'll answer any questions I can! (deni.troxclair@gmail.com)