"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born." Isaiah 66:9

Sunday, February 14, 2010


That word seems to penetrate the world of people with fertility issues. We all blog and we share and we comfort each other, but this road is lonely! Each person experiences this differently and though we share experiences, no two cases are exactly the same! In talking to my great friend C that I've been friends with for years now, who is starting the IVF journey, she said it, she feels so lonely!! We talk a lot about how we feel and we share experiences, but it is still lonely! Infertility is lonely. It's so lonely that I hate to write the word even!

Everyone's road is different and I respect them all. One may not be right for me that is right for you, and my journey into adoption may not be right for other people. Adoption is in itself different for everyone. For us, we are super-blessed, very greatful to have found a great birthmother who is sweet, funny, smart, and organized. Those are traits that I think fit well with our family and we are greatful!

I want to share that this journey itself is a lonely one as well. The ins and outs of adoption are so complicated, and you have to travel that road and figure it out as you go. I wish I could tell you that it's simple and cut and dry but it's not. It's lonely to not know how to handle each situation and to have to figure it out. I want to emphasize that it is hard for me, for Sean, for Baby Mama, for our birthfather, for my family and friends, for Baby Mamas family and friends. In our situation it's hard to watch her go through this and hard for us to go through it as well. We are thrilled to be adopting Cala, we know she's meant to be in our family, but I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking this is super easy.

Every step of this infertility is hard and each part of the process has to be navigated, some parts are easier than others, but they all must be taken to reach our baby dreams!

So, here's to those lonely steps that bring us to our babies and to knowing that ultimately, regardless of how lonely we've felt, God never leaves us alone.


  1. Deni,

    This road does get lonely doesn't it...and its long, but sooo worth while :) For those who've never experienced life after loss they will never understand. But, for those of us who have, we will be your cheerleaders and rally you on to success!

    Don't let the daunting process cloud your dreams or steal your JOY, as anything worth while is worth every ounce of energy we have.

    Often times I feel alone and isolated in this journey too. My family and Nicholas family are focused on earthly children and they have no idea of our strugges or how hard I've fought to stay up right...but this fight is not theirs, its mine and I refuse to give up or give in! I choose to put one foot in front of the other and make my way to the finish line...somehow, someway. Someday :)

    Keep your head up and lean on the FAB 5, as we are walking the journey with you, promise. And, its not nearly as lonely with us at your side.

    Love and Hugs my Kindred Spirit...

  2. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog yesterday.

    Yes, I must agree...infertility is a lonely place to be. Unfortunately, I've been there a long time. Funny how you posted this yesterday...I had a VERY lowly AND lonely day yesterday, one of the worst yet since our failed IVF cycle. The one good thing about yesterday is that it's over, and the sun came up again today.

    Congratulations on your upcoming adoption!!! What an exciting and nervous time for you! I am always so proud to hear of a successful story like makes my own journey seem not quite so impossible.

    Hugs and all things baby for you!


  3. Hi Deni !

    Just want to send you some hugs and say that I think about you often and you inspire me with your strength and optimism and the way you are trying to do the best of the situation.
    Im happy that you feel in your heart that you are ready for adoption , thats such a big thing.
    Im so sure it will bring you so much joy.
    Maybe you will go on to have your own children too in the future , we dont know what God has planned for us .

    I agree that this road is so lonely but Im so gratful for having found friends that understand and " walk " with me even if all our journeys are different .
    It makes my steps lighter.
    Know that I think about you often and you are in my prayers . Love Angie H