We met at PF Chang's (a mutual favorite) and had a long lunch and good chats, then we did a little shopping and a LOT of chatting! It's always awesome to visit with a fellow infertility sufferer and to compare notes, mostly on things that people tell us. Jennifer shared that she was given the opportunity to talk to the women's group at her church and share her experiences with all ages represented. One of her biggest gems of advice (which I completely agree with) was that asking someone when they are going to have children is not ok, not ever. We know it's just a way of starting conversation, but you never know when you are crushing someone who is currently battling infertility or loss, or if you're causing someone to be defensive because they don't want children. It's hard enough to battle that without having to constantly answer that question, to which my favorite response is "It's not for lack of trying". People who choose not to have children should be respected for their choices, not condemned. It made me so proud of Jennifer for being so strong and sharing things that we all really want to share! Thank you sweet friend for using your experience for good!
On that same note, when someone adopts, telling them that now they'll get pregnant is also inappropriate. I know some of you may be thinking that we tried to adopt and now I'm pregnant, and the truth is we felt forced that way due to our adoption scam and had to seek further invasive, expensive fertility treatments. So, yes, we are having a baby and we couldn't be more happy, but this baby does not replace my lost babies or the one we prepared for last summer. Though it does happen, it is not the "norm" to just "get pregnant" after adoption. The true statistics are that "most" people do NOT. This could inadvertently offend someone who sought embryo adoption or who chooses to be much more private about their fertility treatments. So, try to avoid that stereotypical "oh now you'll get pregnant" comment.
Anyhow, we had so much fun and her little Ellie is a bundle of absolutely adorable cuteness!!! I loved her chubby cheeks, giving smooches, and making funny faces! She is a miracle and they are precious!
Her little bonnet was keeping the sun out of her eyes!
That smile is intoxicating!!!