I think that emotions are a bummer. Mainly because the yucky ones sneak up without cause. I shouldn't be having a rough day today, but I am. It's just been a funky Tuesday.
Today I miss my babies. Some days I'm ok, and though I always think about it, some days are better than others, this is an other day!! People are pregnant everywhere, you never notice how much until it's not you and you desperatly want it to be you! It's just a hard place to be.
I feel like a lot of the joy with my adoption has been taken secondary to the stressful situations we've faced, the possibility of it not happening (for a few weeks there), and the concern over whether or not it will happen in the end. All of these things are so beyond my control that I must daily surrender them to God and know that He will provide. Sometimes I just wonder when and if He will provide a baby for me and Sean. I pray so, I pray that this adoption works out for us.
Today I'd like to say a huge thank you to my girls, specifically the other four of the fab 5 that are traveling this road with me. Without the love of Andrea, Nan, Shandrea, and Angie, I'm sure this road would have been infinitely harder. I am grateful each and every day that God gave me these sweet friends to walk this road with hand and hand! I wanted to share the necklace that I got from Andrea and Nan that is so very special to me. It has my babies' names on it and their birthstones! Thank you girls for this, it means the world to me!
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SAYING GOODBYE....
10 months ago
Hey Honey,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that Tuesday brought about a low day...they happen, but we find FAITH in knowing that "tomorrow" is a new day, one of HOPE.
Why does life have to be so troubling? To build character and strength? I wish I knew, but what I do know is this "we may bend, but we won't break" And, we will stand steadfast on the rock of FAITH and hold the hand of GOD and BELIEVE in our futures. One thing I know for certain, for us both, we will be Mommies to earthly babies, we will and I refuse to believe any different. I see this race ending in victory! And, I am cheering you on to the very end. I look forward to a long friendship and many chats about our children :)
Your friendship means the world to me. There are few who understand the trials a baby lost mother faces, but I get it...all of it. The Fab 5 will never forsake eachother :)
I'm so happy you like your necklace. I wear the wings that you gave me in honor of Christian and feel his spirit :) And, I'm still drinking green tea in your honor!
Keep putting one foot in front of the other sweet friend. We are FAITHFUL...ever faithful.
Praying for you, Sean and sweet Cala.
Much Love,
xoxo